MEXICAN JOKES

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEXICAN BAPTISM ??... A BEAN DIP !!!

WHAT DO YOU CALL 50 MEXICANS IN A VOLKSWAGEN ???
A FAMILY REUNION !!!

HOW ARE MEXICANS LIKE BANANAS ???
THEY'RE GREEN WHEN THEY'RE ON THE BOAT, PERFECTLY GOOD MIDWAY,
AND ROTTEN BY THE TIME THEY GET OFF !!!

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BABY MEXICAN ??? A BEAN SPROUT !!!

DID YOU HEAR THAT 14 MEXICANS WERE HURT IN AN ACCIDENT ???
THEIR BED COLLAPSED !!!

WHAT ARE THE 3 TIMES THAT A MEXICAN SEES A PRIEST ???
WHEN HE'S BAPTIZED, WHEN HE GETS MARRIED, AND AT HIS EXECUTION !!!

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEXICAN WITH A VASECTOMY ??? A DRY MARTINEZ !!!

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE MEXICAN PHONE COMPANY ??? TACO BELL !!!

DEFINITION OF A MEXICAN FORTUNE COOKIE:
A BURRITO WITH A FOOD STAMP INSIDE IT !!!

WHY WERE THERE ONLY 4000 MEXICANS AT THE ALAMO ???
THEY ONLY HAD THREE CARS !!!

WHY DO MEXICANS BUY CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS ???
TO GET THE BIRTH CERTIFICATES !!!

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A MEXICAN WITH AN OCTOPUS ???....
I DON'T KNOW BUT YOU SHOULD SEE IT PICK LETTUCE !!!

WHAT DO YOU CALL A STUCK-UP MEXICAN GIRL ??? "CUNT-SWELA" !!!

WHAT DO YOU CALL 100 MEXICANS HOLDING HANDS ??? A SPICKET FENCE !

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEXICAN IN A THREE PIECE SUIT ???
"THE DEFENDANT" !!!

WHAT'S SIX MILES LONG AND TRAVELS AT 5 MPH ???
A MEXICAN FUNERAL WITH ONE SET OF JUMPER CABLES !!!

WHY DON'T MEXICANS HAVE CHECKING ACCOUNTS ???
BECAUSE CHECKS ARE TOO SMALL TO SPRAY PAINT THEIR NAME ON !!!

WHY DID MEXICO PULL OUT OF THE OLYMPICS ???
BECAUSE ANY MEXICAN WHO CAN RUN, JUMP, OR SWIM IS ALREADY LIVING
IN THE UNITED STATES !!!

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEXICAN MIDGET ??? A "SPECK" !!!

HOW ARE MEXICANS LIKE BILLIARD BALLS ???
THE HARDER YOU SMACK EM THE MORE ENGLISH YOU GET OUT OF THEM !!!

WHY DON'T MEXICANS BARBECUE ???
CAUSE THE BEANS SLIP THROUGH THE GRILLE !!!

HOW DID BREAK DANCING GET ITS START ???
FROM MEXICANS TRYING TO STEAL HUBCAPS
FROM CARS THAT WERE STILL MOVING !!!

DO YOU KNOW WHY MEXICANS HAVE THOSE LITTLE STEERING WHEELS IN
THEIR CARS ??? SO IT'S EASIER TO DRIVE WITH HANDCUFFS ON !!!

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A MEXICAN WITH AN ORIENTAL ???
A CAR THIEF WHO CAN'T DRIVE...

THIS MOTHER DUCK AND HER DUCKLINGS ARE CROSSING THE STREET WHEN A
CAR COMES BY AND WIPES OUT ALL BUT THE LAST LITTLE BABY DUCK IN
LINE...A WHILE LATER A BABY SKUNK COMES ALONG AND SEES THE BABY
DUCK SITTING ALL BY HIMSELF CRYING AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD...THE
SKUNK WALKS UP TO THE DUCKLING AND ASKS "WHY ARE YOU CRYING" ?
...THE DUCKLING RESPONDS..."MY MOTHER AND ALL MY BROTHERS AND
SISTERS WERE KILLED AND I'M ALL ALONE AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I
AM" ... THE SKUNK SAYS "WELL, LET'S FIGURE THIS OUT...YOU HAVE
FEATHERS, WEBBED FEET AND A BEAK...YOU MUST BE A DUCK !!!"... NOT
LONG AFTER THAT, THE SKUNK BREAKS INTO TEARS HIMSELF ...AND THE
BABY DUCK ASKS "WHY ARE YOU CRYING ???" ...THE SKUNK PROCEEDS TO TELL
HIM THAT THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HIM AND THAT HE'S ALL BY
HIMSELF TOO AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE IS EITHER...THE DUCK SAYS
"WELL LET'S TAKE A MINUTE AND FIGURE THIS OUT...YOU'RE NOT BLACK,
YOU'RE NOT WHITE, AND YOU SMELL REALLY BAD...YOU MUST BE A
MEXICAN !!!!"